Tanning is not for everybody.

I have always been a bit envious of women who can soak up the sun, turning their skin into a beautiful glow of bronze. I have had pretty much two shades of color my whole life, albino pale porcelain (Sherman Williams has this exact shade... sike!) and lobster red. I am just a fair skinned type a gal, to give you an idea, I was born with fiery red hair. My sister was born with coal black hair and can just draw a picture of the sun and become tan. Life is so unfair sometimes.

Reason 48579 I carry sunscreen at all times. Do you like my necklace?

I know there are other alternatives, like working my way up in a tanning bed  (I know it's an unsafe alternative, but it is an alternative). I tried this my junior year of high school, before my spring break trip to Hawaii.  I didn't want to burn on vacay and be miserable (see above picture ^), so I tried it out. I was so excited my mother had finally agreed to allow me in a tanning bed to begin with (read: she knew I wasn't cut out for the tanning bed life), and now I would finally understand what my friends were all talking about. My friends always went on and on about how relaxing it was to listen to music and lay in a warm bed. Well this is what I learned in my short lived tanning bed experience.
 1.) When you're as fair skinned as I am, you can't really lay in a tanning bed for all that long, therefor getting naked for 5 minutes was neither relaxing, nor worth my time.
2.) Tanning beds make me itch. Like want to rip your skin off itch. More so in the area where my 2 ladies are up front, and well that is just an awkward day at school. It just makes everyone uncomfortable.

So what's next in operation "get tan"? Well a spray tan of course!! So you of course grab your girlfriend that is addicted to spray tans and has one done at least twice a week, and pop your spray tan cherry! So off we went, I took said friend into the booth with me while some poor girl sprayed my nakey body down. Like I said, this was my first time, so I had no idea it took a while for the color to set in. My dear friend talked the poor spray tan lady in to giving me not one, but two, extra coats. We left the tanning salon and drove across town 20 minutes to my BFF's apartment to start our pre-drinking shenanigans. As I strutted my stuff in, to start the night, I could immediately tell from the looks on their faces, I was more like an oompa loompa than a sun-kissed beauty. I spent 20 minutes scrubbing my skin raw in my BFF's shower.  After several drinks I let them talk me into leaving the house, and I vowed to , right then and there, love my pale skin, forever and ever, Amen!


this was after I scrubbed down for 20 minutes!