Keeping it Classy

Monday, June 17, 2013

I feel like these last two weeks I have spent more time at work than I have at home ((poor Stella!)). This would normally be great since I am about to embark on a 3 week adventure that involves snuggling with my husband for the first time in 7 months! However, it has been painfully slow. So what do you do when there is absolutely nothing much going on at work? You clean, "if you got time to lean, you got time to clean". Of course when you are not making money, you are less likely motivated to clean. So you find other ways to entertain yourself.

You take pictures for instagram, and snapchat all your co-workers lucky enough to have night off.

You hide from your chores in large boxes...

It is all fun until the box breaks and you're stuck there.

Channel your inner T-Rex while hiding in the walk in cooler.

Eventually it is closing time and you get to go home, or all your hard work of being obnoxious has exhausted your manger out and they send you home early (I'm still working on this..).

Once you get home you reward yourself after a hard days work, you grab a glass of wine or a cold beer, light some candles and take a bubble bath.
Throw in your laptop resting on the toilet with a little Downton Abbey, and you have successfully created  a classy day. 

Stinkin' Lincoln

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Exactly 5 years ago today, I was so blessed to witness the birth of my amazing Godson, Lincoln. I still remember the 9 months prior to his birth, when my best friend and Lincoln's mama learned that she was faithfully and fearfully pregnant with this little guy. I guess you could say it was little bit of a surprise. I remember how excited I was for her and told her if she would let me, I would be there with her for anything she needed. Those next 9 months I grew closer to that girl then I could have ever imagined. We faithfully had our Tuesday night dinners, where she was multi teaching me lessons about cooking (her fried chicken is sinful y'all!) and what to expect in the delivery room. I would show up to her house like clock work with a bottle of wine while she would make me sweet tea. A lot of times she would use the wine to cook with and I would finish off what was left (or I would just drink what was there and she wouldn't cook without it...). We would stay up late watching movies, discussing the future, and laughing until we couldn't laugh anymore. As I watched her belly grow bigger, our tradition stayed the same, and every Tuesday night we would both fall asleep watching movies on her "L" shaped couch (which actually eventually broke from that baby belly of hers!).
Almost 4 months pregnant!

8 months pregnant.
I will never forget the morning I received the phone call from Christena, it was a Sunday, telling me she was in labor and I needed to meet her at the hospital. I am not sure I had ever been more devastated in my life. You see, the Friday before I had been boozing it up at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for carb day, when I received a phone call from my now sister-in-law. They were planning a surprise visit to Baltimore to see the (now) husband. I mean what would you do if you had been drinking since 7:30 in the morning and you get the chance to surprise your man you haven't seen in a while? (I will share this whole story later this week!) The memory of that morning is still so vivid in my head, I was so upset I was going to miss the birth of my Godson, and when I told her I was in Baltimore, the disappointment in her voice, talk about heart-breaking. Thankfully (and unfortunately for Christena) she was not in labor, but just really sick.
Seeing her pregnant ass drive this big ol truck was quite the show.

About a week later, I received a phone call from Christena's (now) husband that woke me up. It was early in the morning (for me) and his words were "I am on my way to get you, this is not a drill." I was so beyond thrilled I am not even sure how I managed to get out of bed with out hurting myself. A few moments later her husband was in my drive way, and we were on our way to the hospital, so I thought. As he started driving I told him he was not going in the direction toward the hospital. That is when Christena told me we were headed to Wal-Mart because she wanted to walk. She did not want too show up to early before labor and just sit in a hospital bed and wait, so to Wal-Mart we went so she could pace the isles. We paraded this 9 month pregnant woman up and down those isles of Wal-Mart, she was wearing leggings and a hot pink tank top, no bra and sunglasses (shout out to people of walmart!) until she decided it was time. I grabbed a box of diapers and headed toward the check out. Christena wanted a blue slushi from subway since she knew she couldn't have anything to eat once we arrived at the hospital. As she stood in line and waited a woman looked at her and said "Wow! how far along are you?" her response? "9 months, I'm actually in labor now but I really want a damn slushi!" Everyone proceeded to move out of her way, she got her slushi and we were on our way to meet that precious little boy.

Once we got settled in, we learned that all of  that walking at Wal-Mart did not pay off, she was not nearly as dialated as she had hoped. So we waited, and waited, and waited a little more. Christena had her "birth plan" and naturally nothing on that plan panned out (except one thing), as the contractions grew worse, she tried every position possible and bounced like a mad woman on the birthing ball, but nothing was helping the pain. When her husband and I were just about certain that if the words "oh my god, oh my god" came out of her mouth one more time we were going to leave, she decided to get an epidural. It was not a part of her plan, but it was the best thing for the situation at the time.

wore those glasses the whole time (on her head).

During the epidural there was another unexpected event that occurred. There were horrible storms going on so they moved her to a room that was the size of a small closet, which she shared with another patient. This is when Christena told me it was time to push, but there was no way in hell she was going to deliver in a room that was smaller than a porta-potty. I'll be damned if that girl is not determined and waited until she got her own room to start pushing.

Once Christena got her own room it was time to push, with me and a nurse holding each leg, and her husband holding her hand and rubbing her head, little Lincoln was making his entrance into this world. Or maybe not. Lincoln crowned and then for lack of better words, went back in. Now it was crunch time, Christena really needed to push. As I am watching this little miracle be born I notice something wrong (so I thought) his head was really wrinkely/dimpley. I looked at Christena's husband and could tell he was worried too, neither one of  us wanted to say anything in fear of worrying Christena. As it turns out this is normal and we had no idea (this was Christena's 3rd, so she was a pro). Lincoln finally made his grand entrance at nearly 10 pounds. Christena's plan was to immediately have her son placed on her chest, but there were three large knots in his umbilical cord that stopped this from happening. The mid-wife shook him hard to get everything going. He was a pretty healthy baby boy, with just a couple bruises from shaking him on the back to get him to breath, and a popped blood vessel in the eye were he "went back in". And the best part of the story, the one planned thing? I got to proudly cut little man's umbilacal cord.  I ran out to the hallway to inform friends and family of his birth, where we proceded to pop champaigne and toast his birth. When linclon went "back in" he got some fluid in his lungs and had to spend a few days in the NICU. I remember when he left, the nurses stated how happy they are to see all babies leave but since he was so much bigger than the other babies, he would wake them all up when he cried, and so they were extra happy to see him leave.

Here we are 5 years later and that precious little boy will be in kindergarten this year. He is so amazing and FUNNY, I mean really funny. I am so blessed to have been there to witness his birth! Thank you for that Christena and Alan! And to you my Stinking Lincoln, Happy 5th birthday!

Drag Queens and Roller Coasters

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Phew.. I'm glad that blog every day in may challenge is over... it was hard writing a blog post everyday.. oh wait.. just kidding.. that didn't happen. I had good intentions of participating every day, the prompts were just too serious for me some days. Ain't nobody got time for that shiz.  I'm still trying to keep busy while I not-so patiently wait for my trip next month to see that hunk of a husband of mine. I get to see my husband for the first time 7 months, aaaaand it doesn't hurt that it is in London!

This past weekend was a lot of fun. I road tripped to Charlotte with some friends (hitting up as many Goodwill's as possible) to ride some roller coasters at Carowinds. We decided to go up the night before and stay at a hotel so we could check out the big drag queen show that does down on Sunday nights. The drag show was a lot of fun, the hotel was a little sketchy. I mean don't get me wrong, we went for cheap, but thankfully it was clean. However we were only there for ten minutes before some guy came dancing down the hallway-- "I just can't stop boppin, what you boppin to?" Umm clearly not drugs like you bro. Then a little later our "neighbor" rolled down the hall way in a computer chair... uhhh no sir you can not buy a beer from us, go back to the stairwell to smoke marijuana with your girl. So, like I said, the hotel was sketch, but the drag show was awesome. I have been to several drag shows in the past and always have had a good time, this however, was the first show were I actually questioned whether or not these were drag queens or real women performing up there. I am such a people watcher, and this club just fueled my hobby even more.

Kardashian of drag queens?
The next morning we woke up and headed out to the amusement park. It was such a good day to go. School is still in here in NC, so there were no lines. And when I say no lines, I mean we literally rode rides over and over again because there was no one waiting to take our seats. It was awesome. The weather was perfect as well, it was overcast that morning and when it warmed up and the sun starting shining that afternoon, we grabbed our swim suits and headed over to the water park. After the water park we returned for some more rides until we shut the place down. I would be lying if I said I didn't white knuckle, curse, and growl on every single roller coaster, I have a love/hate relationship with them.


Who sleeps at an amusement park?
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