My Poor Husband

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

He isn't sleeping well these days, and I'm to blame. Before you think it is due to some kinkiness brought on by me, that is not the case. I have always been a sleep walker/talker and it usually comes in waves. I think I probably talk every night in my sleep, there is just no one awake to hear it. But this past week I have been giving my poor husband a run for his Money. It is only Tuesday, but I have woke him up from his sleep both Sunday and Monday night (of course I didn't make a peep over the weekend, when he didn't have to be up at 5:00 a.m.). We always laugh about it the next day, but I know at the time he is not amused by me shaking the crap out of him and asking silly questions like "where is everyone else sleeping?".

The worst part about me waking him up in my sleep these two nights, is that I woke him up for other reasons as well, except I was awake and knew what I was doing. On Sunday night I woke him because I could hear something in the garage and I just knew some one was breaking in. It was around 4:30 a.m. and I made poor Taylor get up and go investigate. Turns out a little birdy had made his way into the garage earlier that day and he was just flying around having a good time.

Last night, it was around 11:30 and I was catching up with a girlfriend on the phone when I noticed a huge spider hanging out on my fireplace (when I say huge, I mean the size of a quarter, that is way too big for me).  I hate spiders. I debated whether I should throw a shoe at it or spray it down with chemicals first. After much deliberation, I decided I should try and weaken it with poison first, just in case I missed and it decided to jump. I frantically squeezed windex all over my new friend and watched as she slowly hit the ground. What came next I was not expecting. When spidey hit the ground, hundreds of baby spiders went scurrying across the floor. I went into complete freak out mode, abruptly ended my phone call and woke my husband up.
Creepy little jerk!

It is kind of hard to see because I didn't want to get too close, but those little black specks are the babies!

Taylor was less than pleased with me but kindly obliged and killed as many baby spiders as possible. Mama spidey crawled back into the crown molding around the fireplace where I'm certain she was planning her revenge on us for killing her babies. Taylor mumbled something and headed back to bed. I returned to my phone call. About 20 minutes later, mama spidey reared her ugly head again, and this time I was ready for her, so I thought. I doused her in windex but it wasn't phasing her, so I finally sucked it up, closed my eyes, let out a tiny wimper and threw my husband's shoe at her. Finally that bitch was down for the count! I wiped her up off the floor, made an "I'm Sorry" sign for Taylor to wake up to, and went to bed (where I later woke him up in my sleep :)).

1 comment :

  1. You had a wolf spider! Those things are creepy, I had one in my office recently and had to break out in a dance to kill all the little babies.

    My hubs talks in his sleep, we laugh about it but it scares me a bit sometimes.


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