Things that happen when you're married.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I'm not talking about that extra level of comfort that comes with being married to your best friend (you know..peeing with the door open and stuff, not that I do...). I'm talking about the assumptions and questions that follow once you put a ring on it. For the most part, the questions are normal, typical questions that I ask married couples too. The assumptions however are sometimes a bit obnoxious. Taylor and I have been married for a little over 2 years. We were 25 when we got married. I had no idea this was considered "too young".  But since I was nearly 12 when I got married people assume I have children, usually more than one. This is normally where I respond with "So, you did see my episode of 16 and pregnant? Don't worry I didn't marry my baby daddy!" and walk away. I'm kidding! That's what I would like to do. But I politely explain to them that we have no children and just got married out of good ol' fashion fun (and it helped we love each other!)!
Good Ol' fun!

After the awkwardness of finding out we have no children, people wonder if they should ask "Are you going to start trying soon?". Almost everyone does. I tend to ask the same question of married couples. Some very brave people even have the nerve to ask "Can you not have kids?".  For the record, this is RUDE don't ever ask anyone this. It's not your business.Just to clear the answer out of the way, we have not tried for kids yet so we have no idea! Taylor and I can't wait to have our own little sex trophies,and maybe even adopt someone else's (I may be guilty of drinking too much wine and sending my husband links to children I would like to adopt now.I'm creepy, I know.)! But right now is not our time. I mean, HELLO, Kim and Kanye are having a baby right now, and I don't want to steal their thunder. Besides if I were to get pregnant right now, I wouldn't have a husband tomorrow (deployment problems)! <~ I thought about hash tagging right there and chose against it. You're welcome. Now that you have a better idea of the plans for my uterus, let me show you a picture of what one of our sex trophies would look like:

This baby is ugly. If this were a real chance of what our baby might look like, adoption would be the ONLY choice!

I spent entirely too much time morphing our faces together to make that. I love that baby already. Anyways.... Something else I think is funny is that people assume that since you are married, you no longer need a social life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not see anywhere on my marriage certificate that stated once we were married we had to go bed every night at 8:00 pm, sharp! Taylor and I never fight (not to be confused with never have had a fight.. no one's perfect) and I attribute a lot of this to being social. He is my rock and I can go to him about anything, but we would probably kill each other if I had to go to him for everything. It's just my personal opinion, but I think socialization and space are essential to a good relationship.

I could go on and on about things that happen after tying the knot (and maybe I will... later), but for now I'm tired and don't feel like it. That's my right, because I'm married, and I'm always right! And that is one of the things that happens when you're married, you're always right!


  1. Tired? At 930? You ARE old, friend. Just like me :P

  2. I am DYING here reading this post. You are the first person I've ever heard reference babies as "sex trophies" and I think from now on I must do that. I found your blog via the every day in may thing that Jenni has going on. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that deployment keeps moving fast. Keep on writing - you've got skills.

    1. I really have a knack for making the art of creating a life classy huh? Eh, maybe not. Thank you for your kind words, it is surprisingly going by quicker than I expected... but of course never quick enough!


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